Semi-ishy.

So far, today has been a semi-shitty day honestly. It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't any good either. Was able to wake up early and get to school fine. But I didn't how much of pain trying to find a parking spot was going to be. And so I did what every other late college student would do, ignore the "permit only" sign on the neighborhood street located across the school campus and park there for the mean time until next class break when you can move your car to the actual school parking lot. Attended my first waitlisted class and thank goodness I was able to get in. After that class was over, I had to walk in the hot heat all the way over to the financial aid office and got lost during the way.. Once I was able to find my way i realized I was missing some papers so I left. Then I went to take my Id picture and my face looks all shiny in the picture from me sweating from walking. Ew. After walked to the other side of the campus again to go to my second waitlisted class. That class was full and so then I had a 2 hour gap... Then I walked allllll the way back to my car and found my parking ticket -_- I didn't feel as bad when I looked down the rows of cars on the street and saw all of the other cars with tickets. Since it was hot I wanted jamba juice so I yelped for the nearest location on my phone and it led me to the wrong place. Took me about 10 mins to find that damn jamba. Then went back to school. Luckily this time parking wasn't an issue. Then I waited for my other waitlisted class and that was full also -_- why is it that on my schedule it said only class is on Thursday but apparently its on both tuesday and Thursday?? Im so confused.... Then I went home, really irritated. Now I'm back at school but didn't check what time my class started so now I have to wait for thirty minutes =\ I'm so tired.... I just want to go home and rest. Okay enough complaining. I guess I'll just sit here in my car and nap or something....

Go with a bang.

Neon yellow 11" Cambridge Satchel O.O I want!

Cakes on cakes on cakes

I usually stray away from cakes/cupcakes, mainly because I have never tastes a moist cake. I hate the dry brittle texture but once I had a bite of this red velvet bundlet.... I was in HEAVEN. It's super moist and soft, not overly sweet, better then anything I have tasted cake-wise. My new guilty pleasure

I thought you were a good girl.

I just got home from Steven's house. I'm so glad he's moving to a new place in a week, instead of taking 10 minutes to get to his place, it'll be just 3 minutes ^_^ yippy! I got off work earlier tonight, thank goodness. Every anticipated that PI inventory was going to go through past midnight but we got down about 2 hours early.

Everyone has a bad and an especially good side. And I love it when a person's good side comes out. Now I'm not saying that everyone is good inside and out, I believe everyone has a bad/bitchy bone in their body. But when they're good side comes out and they express it to you, I love it and it makes my day.

I love that the weather is starting to get chilly, a little bit gloomy. That means I FINALLY get to cover up and actually wear my clothes... I think clothes that are designed for fall/ colder weather look better =/ I just dont really like wearing tank tops, dresses, or summer clothing. And when the weather starts getting colder, that means Christmas is coming! Plus in the weather, my skin gets paler, I can wear my dark/bright lipstick colors, I can wear my cute shoes and not having to worry about how my toes look, and more hours at work because of the holidays.

Being on YouTube and watching all these shopping hauls is making the mall REAL tempting. Even on a budget and I know it's not the best thing for me to do, I can't help but have the biggest urge too. Good thing I work at a mall and have to walk past tons of retail stores so it makes window shopping much easier. Usually I get out past closing too so there is no way I can shop. There's a lot of things I've been wanting lately....

• Studded Loafers from Topshop
• Longchamp Le Pliage Large Tote (for school)
  
• Leather pants from H&M
• Simply Shabby Chic Vanity from Target (to hold all my makeup ^_^)
• Jeffrey Campbell Lita's
• Alexander Wang Rocco in Rose Gold (!!!)
  

I wish last night ever ended!

To have your love and arms around me this is the pain I never heal

Last night was crazy fun. Aside from these million bruises on my legs, I wish the night never end!

Why don't you understand?

You can sit there and lecture me all you want about how unstable my family is financially and bitch at me all you want about how my family can't spend "wisely" but you don't even understand. You can't expect my family to be like yours, lucky to come by everything. My mom can't work, she has 4 young kids to take care of. Your dad didn't get laid off either did he? You sit there and bitch and moan about how you spend your whole paycheck on me and I can't even buy you dinner. YOU don't have bills to pay, you don't have mouths to feed, you don't have parents that need you when they fail to provide, you don't have parents that let alone make LESS than you do. And worst of all, you're my boyfriend. I hate that about you, you fail to understand anything that comes out of my mouth. I can't even say a word without you lecturing me about how I should spend wisely. How the hell should I spend wisely when my frig is not always packed with food, I always have to spend money to buy my family a decent meal, my dad is out of work and I have to pay the bills, and though I make more hourly, I get very few hours. And so, basically I'm only making minimum like you. These are the things that bother me about you. I'm already stressed out enough about my parent's stressing out over that, but you complaining just isn't making it any better. Thanks for lending me money to help pay off my speeding ticket. But do not, I repeat DO NOT, sit there and accuse me of not paying you back when I am not that kind of person. Money is hard to come by nowadays and I will, even if it takes weeks or months, I will pay you back. But I know one things for sure, if you keep this up, I'll be happy to up and leave you because I don't need anything to put me down right now, especially at this moment. If you can't make me happy, someone else will and treat me much better.

Me and you together, nothing is better

The nerd in me

Logged into my library account and found out that two of the four books that I requested to be on hold were available! So I grabbed my old books and headed to the library to get these two. Can't wait to read Water for Elephants and compare it to the movie. I loved the movie and when it came out, I was still working at AMC and heard guests say that the book was so much better so I can't wait to read that. Also got Why Men Love Bitches (hehe at the name) by Sherry Argov. Reading the back of the book already made me anxious.

"The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:

• Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
• Why do men take nice girls for granted?
• Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?"

Interesting already isn't it?

I'm a lightweight, better be careful what you say.

A lyric from Demi Lovato's new album. I have always loved her and still do!

Just got back from the Social Security office to take care of some financial aid bizzzz. I seriously cannot handle this hotness from the weather. It's been high 80's almost 90's these past couple of days. Results of me waking up in sweat and suffocated breathing, ugh. I've been debating whether or not I should go return my Missoni for Target bag to get my money back. I'm in desperate need of money even if it means thirty-some dollars. At least it's something. I was looking into getting a Longchamps Le Pliage Large Tote instead, even though it might take some time to save, at least I know I will be using it for quite some time and will go better with all my outfits compared to the multi-colored Missoni. Although it's Missoni...Someone will enjoy it more than me and appreciate it more. I can't give it the love it needs right now, haha. I'm over the Missoni for Target hype now! I had my dosage of it already. I'll just stick with the Le Pliage, even if the price is 3x the Missoni =/ oh well! I have a job, I'll get my money's worth once I have it..


"You can't bandage the damage." I love this song.

Just Another Used to Be

We were once head over heels for one another, but now where has that feeling gone?

Okay happy thoughts!

Enough recapping of my happenings. I don't need to be reminded of how boring my life is.

Lately I have been trying to find a way to build up my credit score. But it's tough getting a credit score when you have no credit to begin with! I've been really looking forward to purchasing either a 13 inch or a 15 inch Macbook Pro along with some financing with it; I WISH I had thousands to blow in one setting. But unfortunately I don't. So I have came to the conclusion that I will just have to build up my credit slowly starting off with a Macy's or Target card or something..meh. Other than that, I am truly going to stick with my promise of saving. I hate the feeling knowing that I am deprived of money and how pay day is biweekly! I just have to keep myself under the control when I get a couple of hundreds in my account. I usually just go crazy and spend on food and clothes like I'm a millionaire with those couple of hundreds. Hahaha, I seriously need some extra security protection on my bank account to keep myself from destroying it.

Christmas has already been on my mind recently! I guess this all started since September begin and that pumpkin spice latte that I had the other day at work just intensified that. I have already even came up with a christmas list for what I'm going to get for people, oh and a financing plan? Just know that I hate spending knowing the items that I'm purchasing isn't for myself...

I have a long day tomorrow. I always promise myself that I'm going to go to bed early and wake up early in order to get my day started sooner but I always catch myself up doing nonsense. And Blogger will just add to this distraction.. Tomorrow I will have to make a stop by the Social Security Office in order to settle some problems with my mother ss# in order to receive my financial aid. Also, I have to sneak at least a 30 min workout tomorrow, I just have to keep it mind that once I get older, the weight will be harder to put off! I'm no longer lusting over Jeffrey Campbell Lita's, which is a good thing...But over Louis Vuitton Neverfull MM, which is totally not good either! Oh and the soon to be coming out iPhone 5, which I know all the news about. (Oh the perks of working at Best Buy ;)

Off to bed now Lils. You're getting dark circles.

How have you been?

What have you been up too? How's life?

Those are the questions I kind of dread answering. Not because my life is horrible or painful to talk about. It's just that there really isn't much I could say. Reconnecting with old friends or family members comes with those questions, those "catching-up-how-have-you-been-doing" questions. I mean, when I'm hit in the face with those questions, what do I say? I'm fine? I've been okay?

Well let's see. Since I have last wrote on this blog I have had

1) A new boyfriend, whom was mention in a couple of posts. It has been roughly almost a year and a half with this gentlemen and days vary. Each day may be surprising fun as hell, you know those days where you can't wait to see their face. Or those days where it's just 'another one of those days' where nothing is no longer special. Since then, I have been getting those just another one of those days. Sure I have grown to be so physically and emotionally attached to the guy that I can't imagine a life without him, but lately there has been nothing exciting to look forward too. We're both adults now with very busy schedules. He works, I work. He goes to school, I'm going to be a full-time student. And we're just both on tight budgets where planning a vacation is just not happening. I believe we're just at the point where we're just too comfortable. That stage where no one no longer wants to try, or make much effort. A hi is just a hello, a kiss is just a peck on the lips, and a goodbye is no longer painful to say.

2) A new job. My second job just to be clear. A job is a job, but I'm actually glad I can sincerely say I enjoy my job. I like my co-workers, it's good knowing we can be comfortable around each other in more of a personal level then just business. I honestly hate when it's all business, how can I get a smile out of you? People often ask me if I like it here, and I always reply "Way more than my previous job." I don't want to say much about my other job, but the fact that it was not the way to go, worst 8 months of my life, filled me with stress, and even 3 more months of stress after I left that job. Let's just put it this way, out with the old and in with the new.

3) A whole new perspective on time. I turned 18 this year, and I didn't do anything crazy kids my age do, or anything "typical" of an 18 year old Vietnamese teenager living in San Jose. I was able to spend it with the people I love the most, my family. They say that with age, comes with wisdom. I beg to differ and say that doesn't just simply come with age. But with making mistakes and learning from the past. I have the guts to say that even since I have turned 18, I have made plenty of scratches and bite marks and am constantly learning every single day. I'm basically the mother of my family now having to take care of mostly everything and always looking over my back to make sure they have what they need in order to be happy. I gave up my dream college and living the college life just to stay home and work for this family, look out for this family, and to help them. I am definitely not selfish for the decision that I have made but glad that I did what I did just to see the relief in my mom's eyes knowing I'm not leaving her.

This blog may probably, I highly sense, will get a bit too personal at times. But that's the point.. it's a personal blog right? I know no one close to me will ever find this and with that, I am content.

With time comes with change.

I still think about his blogspot from time to time. Wondering if it ever still existing somewhere on the worldwide internet or if maybe, it was just deleted after an amount of time where it was "unwritten" in. Thank goodness I was able to somehow be reconnected with this blog just about an hour ago. I'm quite amazed about what I just to worry about then, compared to my worries now. If anything, I wish I could just go back to my old self then and say "GIRL, those are the least of your worries."

Sure I have grown up with everything in my life practically new. Let's see... New boyfriend, new lifestyle, job, new setting. Heck, I'm an adult now. Reading up on my old post made me realize that this blogspot was something that I was on regularly, religiously. I was posting about 5 to 6 times a a day? And I still remember holding myself back from posting beyond that point thinking that it would be just "too much". Little did I realize that this was what keep my mind clear, this was one of the things that kept my mind sane. Throughout this past 2 years that I haven't been on his, or haven't blog for real at all, I realized that blogging, recapping my daily activities and thoughts was what kept me on track. (Maybe that was what kept my 4.0 GPA back in sophmore year when I still wrote in this blog) Silly as that sounds... I'm going to make this a part of my daily routine now. Running thoughts of a growing adult, struggling to keep up with life while trying to keep a family together without making myself fall apart.